The last year has made it clear that there are some things I just don’t need. I’ve been going through my closet to let go of clothes I haven’t worn in years – yes, years. I already gave away boxes of shoes. Some were brand new. Hindsight, I probably should have sold them. 2020 got me really thinking about what’s important in so many ways and my closet wasn’t the only thing feeling the purge.
There were some relationships that I backed away from as well. As with all things, at some point we have to look inward. When I really sat down with myself to think about things, I realized that there were some things I needed to work on to be the best version of me. To be that person and do that work would require me to let some things go.
One of the first obvious things to change was me doing too much. Sitting with myself and my family for over year and having restrictions on what we could do really has a way of making the important things clear. I had been trying to make so many things happen. I was buying into the hustle culture and trying to launch a podcast here, a new blog there, get a full time job and freelance all while being a wife and mother. Huh? I’ve fully given up on the team hustle life and I’m a card carrying member of club ease. Everything doesn’t have to be a hustle. Letting things flow and welcoming ease into your life works too.
As for me trying to make so many things happen, I have to admit something. I was trying to do so much because of what I’d seen other people do. I was comparing what I was doing in my life to what other people seemed to have going on. That’s always a recipe for disaster and I know that. I’ve dropped comparison and I’m fully committed and happy to stay in my lane. What’s for me is for me and knowing that allows me to stop comparing and celebrate other people while easing my way into what’s mine. This feels much better.
I said before that I was letting go of clothes and shoes. I have learned to really let go of having a connection to things. I see it in people I love and it’s not a good look. Putting so much value into things that you have to old on to everything is not healthy and I don’t want any part of it. I’ve gotten really comfortable with letting things go and not feeling any way about it.
What has taken me way to long to do is to stop being so “nice”. I have long had a habit of saying yes to things because I’m trying to spare someone’s feelings. What I’ve learned is that yes is also me saying no to something else. I read somewhere that if it’s not a “hell yes” then it’s got to be a “no”. I’m trying to lean more into that. Many times while I’ve said yes to be spare feelings – it wasn’t reciprocated and I found myself wondering why I cared so much about someone’s feelings who clearly didn’t feel the same when it came to me. That will humble you and get your priorities straight.
If you’ve spent time around here you know I’m committed to working out on a regular basis. I even started a fitness challenge. Fitness for me is less about what I look like and more about how I feel. It’s taking care of this vessel that I’ve been given. We only have one shot with it and I’m trying to do right by it. While it definitely helps me physically, I think the mental part is just as important. How good I feel after taking the time to take care of me is something I love. I have skipped a workout here and there for various reasons but I was cranky the whole day. I gave up on skipping working out and instead weave them into my day so it’s just what I do and not something I have to squeeze in if I have time.
You ever talk to someone and they decide to load you up with all the bad things going on with them and the people they know? I have. It’s exhausting. While people have problems and bad things happen, I don’t only want to hear negative things when I talk to people. Tell me something good. Talk to be about a good book or tv show. Tell me how great things are going. I don’t look for the bad in things. I have always been one to try to find a positive in things. It drives me up a wall when all I hear from someone is the negative things. There is enough that happens with all of us that we could live there in the space of all that’s gone wrong. But what’s the point? At some point it has to be more important to look for the good. If you look for it, you’ll see more of. Positive or negative you’ll see more of it.
What are some things that you’ve given up or are going to give up?
