Before I became a mom it was all I heard. The talk of the back burner being the place where my dreams would reside. Once I became a mom it was as if it were a given that the dreamer side of me would take some sort of hiatus. Well, you should know now. There’s this thing about me. I like to do the things people say I can’t. So while everyone told me to be ready to put my life on hold, it only made me more determined to do the opposite.
I have still gone for my dreams with gusto. I just adjust my timeline a bit for my babies. While I’m OK with things taking a bit longer it doesn’t mean that those things are on the back burner. Working on my passions and dreams is something I do everyday. Instead of checking ten things off the list though, I am happy with checking off two. I don’t believe we stop living once we become mothers. We are more than our titles. Feeling like you need to reach some goal before you can do what you love is just a set back. “Once the kids graduate high school” is a long time. It’s possible to balance your hearts desires with being a fab mom. {tweet this}
There’s a man my husband worked with. He and his wife recently visited Paris. He knew my husband and I had gone there and sparked a conversation with him about it. Comparing notes on things they’d seen and places they’d gone. He told my husband he didn’t enjoy it as much as he thought he would have. He wasn’t up for all the walking and general moving around that’s involved with seeing the sights. He said he’d regretted that he and his wife hadn’t gone when they were younger. They had put off so much of what they wanted to do until the kids were older. They’d saved a nice amount of money to do all of these things that they were now too tired to do. He said from that experience he had decided to encourage his kids to not focus so much on the money and to live now.
It’s a beautiful thing to experience the beauty of the Eiffel Tower. It’s quite different when you’re 30 vs 60. All the stairs to get to the top of the tower may not be as appealing. The same goes for any business or passion you want to pursue. The older we get, it’s less appealing to put in the work to make those things happen.
Everywhere I go, I hear moms talk about all the things they want to do. The business they want to start the things they’d like to try. Almost always the dreams begin with the words “when the kids are older, I’ll…” The thing about the future… it’s not here yet. It may never get here. That ideal life you’ve planned for when the kids are older. Why not live it now?
What are you putting off until the kids get older?
EXCELLENT POST!!! As a mom of 3 my husband and I have already started to do the things we want to do lol. No point in waiting lol #BLMGIRLS
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I keep putting off going to Italy. My excuse is I want to take Pookah but with his wheat allergy in the land of pasta it doesn’t seem quite fair.
Most of my travel. I am not trekking the kids to Europe – that would be no fun at all.
I needed to read this, right now at this moment. My baby boy rocked or world with his sleep shenanigans and hubby and i have asked around in a fog for two years, we are trying to get back on track and i needed to read this! Thanks for this! #blmgirl
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I put my traveling part of my job on hold until he kids left for college.
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I agree 100% with this post. Live for now and celebrate today because not only is 30 vs 60 different, but tomorrow isn’t promised. I am all for going for your dreams. Let’s get it Camesha!
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Now that my son is 18 I have started doing things for myself. I went on a girls cruise with my girlfriend’s last year. We left the husbands and kids at home. I wish I had done stuff like that when my son was younger. They survived just fine without me.
My kids are out of the house now so I don’t have nay excuses to put things off. I’m definitely looking forward to traveling out of the country!
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This is a very interesting post that truly hits home. There is one thing that I truly have the desire to do before my kids are old (this is sad) but I want a private dinner for just my husband and I. Because he’s so attached to the kids, that has not happened in eight years. What must a wife do to have a date (lol) with hubby?
Now that my hubby and I have a family, it is no longer just what the 2 of us want to do but what we can do in the future with our KIDS! We can’t wait to take them to Atlantis where we honeymooned but we have to wait until they are TALL enough, not old enough, to ensure they can ride all the slides. Great post 🙂
Traveling now would be cool… but I feel like my dream has always wanted to be a mom. So, I am living my dream every momemt!
Chelley @ A is For Adelaide recently posted…The Importance of The Team
I’m very mindful of travel without my kids. And any expensive purchase will probably be put off
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Girl say that please! I dont have kids but I am watching mostly all of my friends with kids complain about what they can’t do because of kids. Ive also watch my mother not reach for her dreams after my brother and me were born (to her defense my brother was diagnosised with autism) but we are all adults and yet she still has excuses. I will NEVER blame my kids or put my dream on hold because I am a mother. I dont think that is fair nor do I think any children would want their mother to not be able to have dreams too to have them. Its all a mindset and Mamas are out there doing it bigger and better than ever.
This isnt the 50s we dont have excuses anymore!
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Sleep? I’m putting off the big trips that I want them to remember. I want them to be able to reflect on the life experiences, but not just through pictures.
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There have been many things I’ve put on hold for my kids’ well being. I am working through them one by one and have no plans to stop!
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I LOVE that quote and it’s sooo true! When I left my job as a Professor and Dean I worried what message I was sending to my kids but I think the message I sent was follow you’re dreams and the sky’s the limit!! #BLMGirls
http://www.evolveyourimage.me
Yes! It’s all about what they see us do. If we don’t live it, it’s harder for them to believe it. Good for you!
I also put things on hold. Doing my best to get caught up now.
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Sleep, travel, vacation and pee alone! Haha. I don’t know in all honesty but I’m looking forward to spending time with my hubby and any grand babies we may get! And time with my adult kids:)
I do make sure to still have fun even with a kid, I just include her! I do plan on moving to a different state when she finishes school though!
I’d like to think we don’t put off too much. I guess I would say we’ve put off traveling, but we were waiting for the youngest to be old enough to enjoy road trips. We are THERE!! We took our first LONG road trip last spring!
Sara P. (@SensiblySara) recently posted…Easy Mini Chicken and Waffles Recipe
I have put my whole life on old for my kids, im finally getting caught up. I have loved every minute of being a stay at home mommy.
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Wow I really haven’t thought about this. I guess with my youngest not even 3 yet and we don’t know if we will have more babies I haven’t even thought about the “after kids” life. Maybe travel the world?
I don’t have any kids yet, but I put off a lot of things because I don’t want to leave my cat at home.
I totally agree! Mothers don’t have to stop dreaming, many times it can inspire our children and teach them to dream as well! Love this post!
Angela recently posted…Listerine 21 Day Challenge
Honestly, nothing. We do it all now, together. I always take one day at a time and live each day to its fullest with my babies. They will be gone soon enough 🙁
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I honestly can’t think of anything that I’ve put on hold because of my daughter. We pretty much do what we want and try to include her as much as possible.
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It’s best to not give up on your dreams, with some time management anything is possible; really glad you decided to prove those people wrong!
I’ve finally convinced my husband that we can take a vacation for a few days without our son. He’s extremely protective and doesn’t want to leave him with anyone.
I’m glad we’re no longer putting it off.
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Nice! It will be awesome to have some couples time away.
That used to be me… Someone told me once not to wait, to not wait for the perfect moment when it comes to your dreams… start now.. so I did!
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Great question! When my kids are older I want to travel with my husband. Back to Europe and lots of tropical islands!
Amanda recently posted…The Today Show and my 50 Shades of Excitement
Putting things on hold for baby girl was not an option for me! Nice post =)
We’re putting off a trip to Cambodia until the youngest one is older. We want to see Angkor Wat and there’s a lot of climbing in the elements and heat… probably better suited for him when he’s a wee bit bigger (he’s 7 now). 🙂 I agree though… living life now is a wonderful message to share.angkor
I am putting off a trip to Hawaii until my girls are older. We love to travel as a family, but Hawaii seems like a romantic getaway, and I want to experience it with just hubby and I.
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We’re like you, we don’t put anything off. I find it might be harder to do things when they are more dependent on you, but I push forward anyway. We include them in our lives professionally and personally so they view us as a positive role model and witness our habits, etc. Lead by example!
jessica
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I think life is too short to wait to live your dreams. I say go for it now
I love this!! I didn’t really start going for my dreams until I had my children. I don’t know why I waited, I had a lot of time on my hands prior to them. I guess it just wasn’t my time… it shows my children that life is a balancing act and that you can reach your dreams and still attend the games and special school programs and work on the big projects at home. At the same damn time.
Michellette “Mimi” Green recently posted…DIY Chocolate Drizzled Popcorn
Ditto to everything you said! My dreams became so much more important when I had babies.
Life is too short! Going for my dreams seems to come easier the older I get.
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I am looking forward to travelling when the kids have moved out. I have a son finishing his first year of College and a daughter starting College next year. My travelling days are in sight.
I was fortunate to have lived a life traveling with both of my parents working in the travel and hospitality industry growing up. I used to jump on planes every weekend. I even studied abroad in Europe and in Central America. I am glad I got to do all that before I was married and had kids, because it has slowed down. Although now I get to plan for my kids to have those same wonderful experiences. I like to get away with just my husband sometimes too.
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I have so many things I want to do when my kids get older but I also have so many things I want to do now that they are young.
What a great post. No kids here yet, but when that day comes, I don’t intend to stop living!
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Hey Camesha! We have so much in common, would definitely love to connect. I was nodding and “Amen’ing” all the way through the post LOL. It really saddens me when I hear people talk about what they WON’T/CAN’T do because they have kids, or have to wait until they’re older.
Christine @MomsNCharge recently posted…Kids Dreaming Big – A Wish For My Children #APMyWish
I’m convinced we are the same person! LOL!
I don’t think I’ve even thought that far.. I’m just enjoying each day.
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No kids here, and I won’t have any until I feel 100% secure with what I am doing in life, and of course… I have to also find the RIGHT RIGHT man, because I am ONE AND DONE. I never ever want a divorce!
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I don’t know what I am putting off. I haven’t thought it.
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I have learned that my children are motivated by seeing me pursue my dreams. There’s no greater pursuit than to allow them to be a part of your journey to getting “there.” Wherever your there is. Beautiful post.
In that way, my kids are a big part of my motivation for going after what I want.
Traveling is the big one for us… I wish we had done more before we had kids, but I am looking forward to exploring the world once they are old enough to appreciate it 🙂
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Time is going to fly by so fast…enjoy each day and each moment when they are young and for the rough times remember, “this too shall pass” #BLMGirls
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I really enjoyed this post. I think it’s very doable to accomplish everything that we have a desire to do while still being epic moms. It just takes a little creativity!
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Yes, creativity is key!
Since my kids are 23, 15 and just turned 8 years old….I am very glad I DID NOT put any dreams on hold. I would and still would be waiting a long time. It’s important for your kids to SEE the goals you have and to see you reach them or not.
Diane Sullivan recently posted…I Fell In Love With This Valentine’s Day Commercial #BoyMom
I put off going back to work until my son graduated high school. Now that he’s about to graduate, I’m not sure I’ll be going back to work at all…
I used to say, “when the kids are older”, then one day I looked around and realized I was letting life pass me by. Now, I just incorporate the kids into whatever I want to do. It works.
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We had six kids over 17 years, not the wisest choice since it’ll take forever until they’re all gone, but I’m waiting to get winnebago and travel the lower 48 until the day I die 😉
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Great post! So true, do it now, it’s all you have. Take your children with you! I love that you just adjust your timeline…2 things instead of 10 on your list.
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Adjusting my timeline is the only thing that works for me. I can’t have the same expectations I put on myself before. There are more people in the equation now. 🙂
As selfish as this sounds, I have always thought about ME! I grew up with a mother who took care of yourself (i.e., went to the gym), worked full time, and enjoyed her life with her friends. At no point did I feel unwanted or unloved nor did I even notice that my mom was being ‘selfish!!!’ My motto is a happy mom is a good mom!
Yes! A happy mom is a good mom.
I am not giving up on stuff because of the kids. I try to live my dreams and involve them when I can
OURFAMILYWORLD recently posted…Start Gardening Now With These Container Garden Supplies
Best to leave the super big and important trips till the kids are older, they will appreciate it more and have a far better time!
I can’t say that I have too many things that I want to do. Or at least nothing that I can’t accomplish within the next few years.
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I feel like I’m the opposite of everyone lol…. I have no problem traveling with my princess…. Her first flight she was only one month old! All she knows is travel so she loves it and is well behaved etc….I also live a life where hubby and I have no help with people willing to babysit…. So screw them I will do it all and they can watch 😉 nothing stopping us!
Yay! We tend to make our kids a part of the journey too.
This post really hit home. The hubby and I have started discussing things we will be doing when the last of our children gets older. We look forward to it yet we know we will have gotten older when we get there. Kind of bitter sweet. Thank you for sharing.
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Maybe because I grew up with traveling parents, I traveled with my kids when they were little. You just figure out what you need to calm then; books, toys, etc, and off you go.
Things might be more difficult to do with kids around, true. But they also might be pretty fun, too. 🙂
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Our daughter is almost 18 and we have taken 2 trips without her. One was a year or so ago and one was last month. It was fun, but we missed her the whole time.
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Beautiful post! Love your website and graphics as well.
Thank you so much.
This is such a great post! I think it’s definitely important to continue to follow your dream while your kids are still young – even though it might be difficult. I’ve been putting off going back to university and getting more education until they’re older but I might want to start thinking of ways to do this while my son is still young.
Michelle @ Dishes and Dust Bunnies recently posted…Try this Awesome Double Chocolate Banana Bread Recipe
Give it a go! You’ll be an inspiration to your son in the process.
I don’t think there is any reason that a mother should have to put her dreams on the back burner. You can still do anything you put your mind to, like you said, you just adjust the timeframe. Sometimes it’s hard but it’s all worth it.
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Love this post. My husband and I both quit our jobs to focus on things we could do from home. The money isn’t as good but there is no reward equal to being the one to raise your kids.
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Girl this post hit home. I am constantly dreaming about when my kids are older. I have things I’m working on now but if I’m honest I don’t give them as much time as I could. Thank you for this motivation!!!
Fantastic post Camesha! Like you, I slowed down but didn’t put the dreams on the backburner. I wanted my kids to see that you’re never too old to learn and grow. Sure wish I had you to inspire me during those early years though! You doing great work!!
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I agree – travel would be so hard with my little ones. I’m saving the big trips for when they are older 🙂
I do and don’t put things off. I’m not going to take my three kiddos to trek through Peru for a few weeks because they’re too young to enjoy it and I really want it to be a trip for the husband and me… LOL. I’m selfishly saving that for when the kids are older. But I do chase my dreams and take them on that journey with me. I work from home and I’m truly passionate about what I do. It’s helped them see that sometimes your dreams can be a bit outside the box. And hard work is always worth it for your calling!
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So true, Camesha! It’s like saying, “I’ll do such and such when I’m thin…” It’s a false deadline! I try to remember to live my life for today.
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Fantastic post! We put off so much of what makes life worth living to “someday” when the kids are older, when we retire, when we save enough money, when we… fill in the blank. I call it “The Procrastination of Pleasure” and is one of the main reasons why I started my blog with my mission to #MakeSomedayHappen. Cheers to you for sharing this message. It is a great example for parents to give their children. To show it’s important to make our dreams, whatever they may be, a trip or a business, happen today for someday may never come.
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Absolutely! I couldn’t agree more. Tomorrow may never come so why place all of our dreams in a day that may never be.
Thanks for the great post! I find myself in that mode sometimes…I’ll get out!
I think we all do it. The kids get older sooner than we think and it’s easy to forget about all those things we wanted to do.