I was sitting in a conference room at work for a meeting. I glanced out of the window. There were a few moms out back pushing their kids in the swings. I should mention there’s a playground connected to our building. Moms and nannies from the surrounding neighborhood come to hang out with their kids all the time.
At that moment, my thoughts went straight to my son and how I’d like to be spending these moments with him at that park and not in a meeting. I wondered, as I often do, if I was missing out. I wondered if by going back to work I had signed up to miss the basic milestones of his life.
As I turned my attention back to the meeting I was reminded how cool my career is. I was reminded how cool my colleagues are. How lucky I am to be in the entertainment industry. I wondered if I had stayed home if I’d be missing out. Missing out on these brainstorm meetings, creative groups and just the overall outlet of what I do.
In those moments I found myself at some sort of self-imposed crossroads. It seems that no matter what road I chose, I’d be missing out on something. One is obviously more important, however there are things to be missed on both sides of the coin. I found myself wondering why it has to be so hard? Why there can’t be a best of both worlds scenario for me? Why it has to be so black and white?
I found myself wishing for the grey area where I can have the creative outlet of my career and have the precious moments with my child(ren). I really crave just a bit of grey.
I can relate to this. When I quit my job my fear was that I’ll be missing out, be missing me. But it turns out that we are all really going to be missing out on something at some point in our lives.
We all crave that gray area. You are right, no matter what, we would be missing out on something. While I’m working I am constantly thinking about home. If I don’t re-orient my self, I won’t get any work done. I do want to stay at home some day, but I wonder how it would be like. Work is pretty much the only time I get to engage in coversations with several different adults.
This Cookn’ Mom recently posted…If I Wanted To
I often think about this too. Even though there are times when I absolutely hate going to work, I feel like I would be loosing a part of me to give it up completely. But if and when I have another one, I will have to make a choice I think. Or at least make some compromises. We will see.
Roses Daughter recently posted…My Mother’s Day and Other Disasters….
Ahh to have the best of both worlds! I agree a bit of grey would be really nice.
Aracely recently posted…Happy Mother’s Day
As I search for a part-time summer job I’m already asking myself the same question. What will I be missing? But I also know this will be a great thing for me. Entering the workforce and showing more of me the person and not just the mommy.
Hugs and Mocha,
Stesha
Stesha recently posted…Things We Love: Mobile Shops
I hope you find your way to a bit of grey at some point, friend. (Or maybe get a heck of a lot more vacation time!)
Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell recently posted…Operation Trampoline: Bounce, Bounce, Bounce!
Finding that balance is something I don’t want to be in search of anytime soon but I know it’s coming….honestly I would like most moms love to spend time working from home So I can have time with my baby:-)
PLEASE let me know if you find that grey area! I think we all crave it at some point or another. 😉
Optimistic Mom recently posted…Looking back at the moments
Awww. I’ve been at that place. I was a SAHM and now a working mom. I thought I wanted the stay-at-home, but I needed the outlet, I needed the validation, I needed adult conversation. I think you’ll find your grey in what makes you happy. Finding a happy medium between both. I don’t think perfect exists. But find the happiness in the little moments at work and with your kiddos. I think that makes for a happy Mommy. Age old question, my friend. PS, wonder if those Mommies on the playground were looking up at you, saying, I wish I was in there.
Cari recently posted…Where Do You Fall On The Crazy Scale?
well said, Cari! Never thought about it that way. 🙂
Co-sign 100%
krissy recently posted…Wordless Wednesday: Mother’s Day
I hear you! My ideal situation would be to work part time. But that’s not an option for me right now. Maybe someday, but not now…
It’s always a trade-off and there will always be something to be sacrificed. It’s just gotta be worth it. Right?
Alicia @MommyDelicious recently posted…Cost-Effective Summer Beauty Trends
love this post! I can relate- very well put. Thank you for finding the words for me.
Mrs. Mom recently posted…swimsuits
I struggle with this very same issue. Being a working mom is one of the toughest jobs and balancing acts there is.
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Laura recently posted…Mein neues Hobby
I totally get this! I think we all struggle with these emotions.
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