My husband and I have some shows that we watch together. They’re not exactly appointment viewing but we don’t watch them without each other. The top two for us are 9-1-1 and Godfather of Harlem. As much as I love both of those shows they can be a bit much for me. I’m way too sensitive for some of the scenes. I can’t watch if I know someone is about to get hurt or killed. If a kid is going to get hurt, I’m leaving the room. I tend to turn my head or close my eyes until it is over. I go so far as to remind myself that this is not real. My husband tries to convince me that it’s not that bad and that I should watch. I don’t. I can’t.
With my avoidance of all things horrible. It won’t come as a surprise to you that I’ve had a hard time dealing with the events over that last week or so. On January 26, 2020, I was sitting in church when we got the news that Kobe Bryant had died. Every Sunday our church does a love break where we go around the church and greet each other. During that love break, people were somber and all whispering about what they had just heard. There were some people saying that TMZ had probably been hacked. Then my husband and I checked our phones and confirmed the news. Not only was Kobe Bryant gone but his 13 year old daughter and seven other people had been killed in the crash as well.
It hit hard
I haven’t slept well since. I don’t know why it hit me so hard. It could be because Kobe Bryant and I are close in age. It could be because I grew up with him in a sense. My heart tells me it’s because as a mom and wife, I can’t imagine the horror his wife and kids are living right now. The thing about this whole tragedy is I can’t turn it off. I can’t turn my head or leave the room like I do with the TV shows. I couldn’t remind myself that it wasn’t real. It was indeed all too real. It hurts.
When I picked my kids up from school, the other moms were all talking about the crash. Everyone was heartbroken and some on the brink of tears. We all could relate to wanting to protect our kids and how tragic it was in those moments for those parents that they weren’t able to protect their kids — and they knew it. That’s a nightmarish way to die. I can imagine and I think that’s what’s making it hard for me to shake it.
I’ve prayed repeatedly for every family on that helicopter. There are children that have been orphaned, losing both parents and a couple who lost a partner and now has to figure out how to be a single parent of their kids. It’s a lot.
This hurt will linger
People have been talking about this being a reminder to tell people you love them and to live each day to the fullest. It’s sad that sometimes it takes things like this make us remember the brevity of life. It takes big things to remind us that our dreams matter and we need to pursue them while we can. There’s been so much talk about all the Kobe Bryant accomplished in his life. There were no shortage of dreams. It seems that his biggest and most important dream is one that he didn’t get to fulfill. While dreams are definitely important, this reminds me that perspective and prioritizing those dreams is paramount. It stings that at the time that he was so focused on his family, he was taken away from them.
The thing is, all of us will die one day. We don’t know the day, but it’s coming. I’ve heard it said that we all have a date of birth and a date of death, it’s what we do in between those dates that make a life. Let’s all get busy making a life that we love. Filling our lives with love and being the best versions of ourselves with each day we’re given. This life truly is a gift, let’s treat it like the present that it is.
