In the last 5 years or so, I’ve become a natural and organic mama. Whether it’s food or body wash. I’m always looking for something that’s safer and healthier.
It wasn’t until we had kids that I really gave it much thought. It was after the birth of our son that we started intentionally eating more organic things. When we started feeding him solid foods, we questioned everything and would reach for natural, organic and homemade items. We scaled back on using our microwave. Moved from plastic to glass and stainless steel.
This intensified with the arrival of our daughter. It was as if we started caring more about ourselves once we had them. Ding ding! That’s the thing. That’s what we tend to do as parents. We put our kids first. It’s automatic. The cool thing is living healthier is what they know. They see us make the effort to be better. It makes it normal for them and not something they’ll have to learn later – like we did.
We tend to do a lot of changing as parents. We almost cover up who we used to be completely. Many times we try to morph into this person that we think makes a great parent. While that’s awesome, it wouldn’t hurt kids to see other parts of us as well. Sometimes we keep our dreams and things we’re passionate about from our children. They have no idea that we were an all star athlete, that we used to sing in a band or that we love to dance. I don’t think it’s intentional. It’s that our focus isn’t on us, but on our kids. So the things we want to reach for gets pushed back to a later date that may or may not come.
[ctt title=”But what if we just never stopped making ourselves a priority? ” tweet=”As moms, what if we still made ourselves a priority without the guilt? @CameshaGosha http://ctt.ec/F9Vyx+ ” coverup=”F9Vyx”]
But what if we just never stopped making ourselves a priority? Not that the kids aren’t a priority – never that. They also don’t have to be the only priority. The minute we decide we are still important, even though we have children, we sometimes get a dose of guilt with that. I know I did. I tend to work myself into the ground for my kids. I learned that if you don’t show them that you have interests outside of them, they won’t know. If they don’t know, they won’t place any value in it. They could also grow up thinking that when you have kids you’re supposed to suppress yourself.
My husband and I had a conversation recently about not just telling our kids things but showing them. It’s really the whole basis of my business. I want to help motivate moms to show AND tell our kids what’s possible. It’s why my kids know that I’m not just playing around on this computer. I’m working on something I’m truly passionate about. It’s also why I switch it up and introduce them to things that I love like different music and poetry. Next up for this mama is an African dance class. I’m sure they’ll get a kick out of this one when I bring my moves home!
Tell me, are you showing your kids there’s more to you than being mama?
47 Comments on Show + Tell?
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Great article. For a while, I wasn’t making myself a priority and it showed. I’m now making sure that both me and my daughter look put together. I want for her to know that she’s beautiful like her mom. 🙂 #BLM
I show my kids many different sides to myself. As a professional blogger, I show them that I am, indeed, Mama, but I’m also an accomplished business woman who can get things done. I think that’s important for them to be able to emulate.
Stacie @ Divine Lifestyle recently posted…LG G4 Mobile Phone from Best Buy @LGUSAMobile @BestBuy #LGG4
My kids know how much I love working out, that I’m a former kickboxer, I played sports in school, and I love to read. They try to do everything mom and dad do, so we make sure they know about all the good stuff we like to do.
lisa recently posted…Raging Waves Waterpark
My kids are 20 and 17 now, so it is easier for them to see me as more than a mom. I know when they were little it was much more difficult though. It’s important though!
Christy Maurer recently posted…Marrow Book Blast with $50 Giveaway WW Ends 7/30
I’m going to be honest – I’ve really struggled with this! When I became a mom I kinda lost who I was before. But I am making an intentional effort to get that person back and this post just reinforced all the reasons why!
Jeannette recently posted…Discovering a Tasty New Way to Start My Day
I have a 3-year-old and often think about this myself. I totally agree with you about the importance to expose your children to different ways of thinking, while demonstrating that you do so yourself.
Jason (from Dealspotr) recently posted…Sunshine N Savings’ Jacquelyn Opens Up About Couponing Journey
I JUST commented on a review of organic baby skin care products last night saying essentially that I’m indifferent when it comes to the quality and ingredients of the products I use but really care about this stuff when it comes to my kids. Really it is representative in terms of my approach on a lot of things. You’re so right when you say that we set an example to be imitated. If I teach my daughter and son that I’m not a priority, what does it inadvertently teach them about what I think about myself or how they should treat themselves? Great post!!!!
Alana recently posted…Why I’m Not A Fan Of The Anti-Bullying Movement
That’s an interesting question that you end with! It’s a fine balance, I think. My kids are still very young so we keep it simple. I think as they get older, I’ll share more of myself, too!
Jacqui recently posted…Benefits of Yoga
Great article Camesha! I agree 100% percent with you about showing your kids what aspirations their parents have. Sometimes in life we put ourselves on the back burner and then become resentful and bitter because we didn’t or wasn’t able to pursue our passions. Sharing what we are passionate about with our kids gives us the opportunity to show them that even though we are mama, we also have our own individuality.
Daria recently posted…In a League of YOUR Own
My children know there is more to me than meets the eye. My boys like to learn and are always asking question. My daughter , not so me. She is 14 going on 21 and thinks she has all teh answers.
I do not have children, but it is definitely important to lead by example that’s for sure!
Tracy @ Ascending Butterfly recently posted…{#Entrepreneurs Alert!} #Franchise Opps to Watch from @MFVExpositions International Franchise Expo #IFE2015
I think my kids really got an understanding of my interests and hobbies after they went to college. Now when we get together, we can do things as friends!
Liz Mays recently posted…Balsam Mountain Inn – Turn of the Century Charm in the NC Mountains
My kids are all grown and the girls and I are always having girls weekends, etc. I don’t think I’ve ever left the house without makeup (except to workout) and looking put together. It’s just who I am.
Alli recently posted…Summer Shark-Themed Party Ideas
It wasn’t until I had been diagnosed with cancer that I started making myself a priority. Having 6 kids is a lot to handle on any day of the week, but giving myself priority has allowed me to be a better mother to all of them.
Elayne recently posted…Strawberry Rice Krispy Treats Recipe
Great points. It is so important that we model those thing that we teach our children…this is where true teaching happens.
The Conservative Mommy recently posted…Loving Your Anxious Child
The balance is HARD most days, but days like today when we giggle and dance around acting silly and he gets to see a little bit of who I was before he was a twinkle in my eye – that’s beautiful.
Shannon Peterson recently posted…4th of July Weekend Recap
Sometimes I need to remind myself that I need to show that I am more than just mama. I know how important that is for my kids.
Paula Schuck recently posted…Relaxing #WordlessWednesday
We tend to lose ourselves when we have kids and forget about what we loved and used to do before we had them. I thinks it’s important to let them know about our other interests.
Ourfamilyworld recently posted…Pros and Cons of Breastfeeding in Public
My kids certainly come first in every aspect of my life. I’ve always put me in the way back which I know I need to stop doing.
this is such an important topic! i really try to “Show” my kids and lead by example as much as I can. i’m not always successful–but I’m trying! 🙂
My kids are my world, and I have always taught to lead by example. This is an awesome quote to live by.
Jamela Porter recently posted…Pandora Controls Back On Android Lollipop Lock Screen (Android 5.0.1)
Great perspective. It is important that we do not lose ourselves as well as share our history with our children. What mama did and does.. and papa too 🙂 I show my LO images of me as a kid, so she knows mama was once a kid too. They both are quite very young, but will continue the trend as they grow.
I agree with you. If you want your kids to say and act a certain way, you have to model it before you can expect them to follow you when you do the opposite. I know that I’m trying to eat healthier too. Thankfully, my kids especially my youngest will reach for fruits and veggies over junk food.
Uplifting Families recently posted…Smart Money Tips for Teenagers (Parents Too)
It is important to show our kids what we do. Telling them things is one thing but showing them the real thing is a must.
Chubskulit Rose recently posted…Ships for the 4th of July
Leading by example is so important when raising kids! My son is two years old and he’s starting to sponge up everything he sees and hears around him!
Michelle @ Dishes and Dust Bunnies recently posted…Jalapeno Popper Chicken Breasts
I thought I wasn’t but the other day my son said mom I like that you own your own business. Here I am trying to build and wondering am I making a difference and to have him say that so proudly shows that kids are watching. Show them what you got
Kita recently posted…Moving? How do you make new friends?
Hehehe my daughter is still very little so all I am is mom to her…. Once she’s older though I will show her who mom really is 🙂
I don’t have a large budget so I have been taking my time to switch out products and things as the budget permits. This was a lot easier for me than stressing about trying to make all these changes all at once.
Chrystal | YUM eating recently posted…Confession: Food Blogging is Hard
This is such a great post! My kids see a lot of different sides to me as well!
Shannon Gurnee recently posted…Magic Mike XXL Girl’s Night Out with Fandango + Giveaway
I wish I could be the person I was before I was a mom! Life is full of ups and downs!
desirae young recently posted…2015 Dr. Seuss Birthday Book Bundle for $5.95 & FREE Shipping!
I have been trying to eat healthier and buy organic when i can. Kids learn from example. It is important they learn to eat well.
It is so important to set a good example for your kids to follow. It is like they say Monkey see monkey do.
My kids know that I love being a mom and taking care of everyone but they also know that there’s more to me than just that. They know what all my loves and hobbies are, but I think all moms struggle with making themselves a priority.
Stacie recently posted…Farm House Fresh Watermelon Basil Vodkatini Body Scrub
I don’t have any kids, but I definitely understand what your saying. Very important to keep yourself as a priority too.
Firm believer. Your children will grow up to be an adult with lives and these lives may be a reflection of what they see as children ( almost certain). What we show them is what is embedded. I am a firm believer. Its not easy being mama and more, but darn well rewarding.
Josselyne recently posted…Little Black Dress Event Atlanta | Atlanta Relationship Wedding Photographer | Events
Great information! I have no children of my own, but I definitely see the importance of this as a teacher of students who are sometimes neglected.
I have to admit there was a time when I lost myself and gave EVERYTHING to my children. I no longer knew who I was. It took me a long time to realize that I had to make me a priority and start to put me first. What I realize is that so many women go through this exact same phase when they start having a children. It’s the very reason I’m launching a new program this month helping women rediscover who they are so they can start saying yes to themselves.
I also try to do my best to show my little one the things that I want her to know and understand. We grew up under the, “Do as I say, not as I do” rule and I want to revise that as a parent. It’s not always easy, but I recognize that she will learn more by what she sees me do than by what I say!
Amber recently posted…FREE TRAINING: How to Create an Irresistible Pitch (to Speak at Conferences)
I’m not a parent, but I understand what you’re saying. Be sure to be good to yourself and make your happiness a priority.
Thanks for sharing.
Ramona recently posted…Wordless Wednesday: Sketching
My daughter loves to sit next to me while I work and to ask questions about my work, it allows her to see a different side of mom, and I hope that it inspires her as well..
My mother always made herself a priority, right along with us. I love hearing that more mothers are making acknowledging self-care because my mother strongly influenced how we valued ourselves. I’m not a mother but it bums me out to see so many of my contemporaries (we’re in our late 20’s and early 30’s) disregard themselves and their former interests in exchange for being a mom to their children.
Kerri Estella recently posted…The BEST Way to Save Your Summer Skin
So true, kids feed off of everything we expose them to. It was during my second maternity leave when I started putting myself in the top 3 of priorities again. Of course the kids remain and take precedence but hell we’re important too.
Kara (Kay’s Ways) recently posted…Tropic Isle Living Strong Roots Red Pimento Hair Growth Oil
Although I do not have children, I try to lead by example with my niece.
Tia recently posted…Free Slurpee at 7-Eleven
Self care is something I’m still working on. I have good days and not so great days…and I realized that that’s okay. It’s always a work in progress, isn’t it? And you should take some video at your African dance class and blog about it 🙂
You know I love this Camesha! I always say that we are our children’s first example and that we need lead by expmle. Love it!
Christine @MomsNCharge recently posted…Interview with Mother Funders Reality TV Stars Carla Stephens and LaShon Thompson
I am a mother of 2 adult children, and I have 3 grandchildren.Even though my children are grown, I use a lot of the tools and suggestions for new moms. I play a big role in my grandchildren’s upbringing, so I apply some of the different strategies to help with new era child rearing. I have also applied some of the “mommy time” ideas to my everyday life. I realized that I’m not too old to fulfill my dreams. Thanks for the positive words of encouragement.
As long as you have breath – it’s not too late. 🙂