We share all of these affirming messages with our children. We build them up and tell them they can change the world. At some point (hopefully) someone did that for us. Even if that isn’t the case, we always want better for our kids than what we had, right? So we seek to build them up with our words. It’s a beautiful thing to give them the confidence to step into this world without the weight of all their flaws nagging them. It’s partially trying to build them before the world attempts to tell them all the things they are not. We tell them all the goodness they need to hear. But what are we telling ourselves?
Do we believe what we are telling our kids is possible for us too? Do we still believe that it’s possible to be anything we want? Are we still convinced that we can change the world? For so many of us, “real life” has tried to convince us that believing in those things are a waste of time. Sometimes, it works. When did we stop believing that we could do and be whatever we wanted?
I wanted to drop a few reminders for you of some things you might need to hear.
You’re beautiful.
There is so much out there that would tell you differently. The models of what beauty is supposed to be would have you believe you’re too far away from the “standard” to be beautiful. That is a lie. It’s not too much to look yourself in the mirror everyday and tell yourself that you’re beautiful. Tell yourself what you think is beautiful about you. If it feels silly, keep going until it doesn’t.
You really can be anything you want to be.
I know you’ve seen the posts that seem to make their way around social media every so often. The ones that remind you that Morgan Freeman’s big break came when he was in his 40s . Or that Sam Jackson got his big break in his 40s as well . Then of course there’s Oprah Winfrey who started to ease into the Oprah we know today in her 30s.
Your goals don’t have to be superstar status. That’s not the point. The point is that even these people who we all know to be super successful didn’t get that way until they were good and grown. Superstar status is probably harder than what you’re trying to do, no? So boom, you’re already closer than you think.
You can do hard things.
I hear this all the time from my instructors as I’m working out. Whether it’s pushing myself on the Peloton or in a weight lifting class – that reminder is golden. When we think back of all the things we’ve already done, that should be proof enough that we can indeed do hard things!
If you don’t see someone else doing what you want to do, maybe you were meant to be the first. (nugget from Jesus and Jollof podcast)
I’ve certainly passed this nugget on to my kids. They come up with some of the most creative ideas. Sometimes they shut them down because “nothing like that exists, Mommy”. I remind them that it’s only because they haven’t created it yet. Same goes for you. Same goes for me.
Your happiness is totally up to you.
It is not the job of my husband to make me happy. I need to create that myself and I need to choose it everyday. The same goes for my kids, friends and family. If what they do adds to my happiness, that’s a bonus!
No is a complete sentence.
Learned. The. Hard. Way. I think I can be too much of a people pleaser. Then, I realized I was doing too much for people who weren’t even concerned about doing the same for me. I didn’t want to say no because it would hurt someone else’s feelings even though saying yes would hurt me. As I said, Learned. The. Hard. Way.
What other affirmations would you add to this “need to hear” list?
