Let’s be honest. Becoming a mother puts you in a whole new zone. You’re not the carefree lady you once were. There’s a whole other set of responsibilities on your plate now. You don’t go to happy hour every week and most of the time you don’t want to. In your eyes, that happy hour has been happily replaced with something far more engaging and worthwhile. Our kids fill that space and we happily let them. We get into setting up playdates for them and taking them to every park we can find. The kids social calendar is what yours used to look like. At some point we start to feel like we might be getting lost in all of this. Our kids are making new friends and engaging and building their social circle but we’re not. The friends we had pre-baby may still be around but if they don’t have kids too, it can be a challenge. So what’s a mom to do? It’s a pretty simple solution. Mama, you need a tribe – a mom squad. You need to find and friend your people.
It’s what I set out to do when I started my mommy blog back in 2011. I was a first time mom. My closest friends weren’t having babies. I needed to connect with other women who understood my exhaustion and engorged boobs. My friends without kids wanted to get it, but motherhood is one of those things you don’t get until you live it. Can’t blame them. Once I started connecting with other moms online, that led to offline connections as well. Truthfully, these women became my saving grace. I didn’t have to walk through motherhood solo. Sure, my husband was by my side but his body didn’t make the same transformation so to speak. That made our parenthood experiences a bit different. Right?
Looking back, I totally understand why I needed my mama squad. Here’s a few reasons having a mommy crew is a must!
1 She’s going through the same things you are
There’s nothing like another mama to go through all the mommy stuff with. Like I said before, my non-mommy friends weren’t interested in my sore, engorged boobs and had no idea what to tell me to soothe them. They didn’t understand why it was so hard for me to get out of the house. Other moms just get it. They’re in the same spot.
2 She’ll help you get out and do stuff. Because she needs to do it too!
It’s just easier to coordinate getting out with another mama. First, she needs to get out too – so she’s game. Second, she knows that it’s going to be a full on effort because of naps or feeding times and all the other things that come with kids. Because of that, she’s less likely to be frustrated with all the coordinating you have to do to make it happen.
3 You’re learning this mama thing together – can you say judgement free zone
When you’re a new mom this is especially true. But even when kids are a bit older, like mine, it’s still great to have someone around who’s is learning along the way too. It kind of creates a judgement free zone because you’re figuring out this mom thing together.
4 She’s not your mom
So about that judgement free zone. Sometimes our moms have their own opinions about how we should be doing things with out kids. You know, because they raised us. It can be hard for our moms to let us do mommy hood our way. Every now and then some judgement can slip through because we do things differently. That’s another reason why the tribe comes in handy.
5 Built in friends for your kids
If the mamas are friends, it’s sometimes easier for kids to be friends too. Moms I met when our kids were infants are still friends to this day. My kids are 4 and nearly 7 and they have friends they’ve known their whole lives because I’m friends with their moms. It’s a really special bond.
Have you built a mom squad? How did you meet? How has it helped your motherhood journey?
11 Comments on Trust me, your mom squad is a must
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This is so true! Luv the post. BLMGirl
I was recently watching Bill Maher and one of his guests was pointing out how we women think we have to compete with each other instead of support one another. Such a sad observation, but unfortunately true sometimes. Having a squad is so important. We all need support for others who know what its like to be in your shoes..
I think I’ve never met my squad. But it’s a pleasure to know these mom squad is a must.
Yes, I totally agree. I don’t have a big mom squad, but what I do have I totally love and don’t know what I would do without them.
Having other mom friends is so important. It really does help get through stressful times that always come where kids are involved, LOL!
That’s so true. It’s important to have a group of friends that would also act as your support system through tough times. Especially mom friends who can understand your situation.
I moved away from my squad 10 years ago and I am finally back. We all live totally different lives now, but hopefully we will get into the mix again soon.
This is so true! Your Mom Squad also has your back when it comes to needing someone to help you out whether it be the kids or personal. They just get it!
Being a part of a mom squad sounds like a lot of fun. I’m sure it would be really useful because of all the parenting tips and advice.
I’m yet to meet my squad 🙁 I hate that I don’t have any mom friends :-/
I don’t have a mom squad and have wished many times that I did. I live in a retired town so to speak. There are very few people under the age of retirement that lives here. I’m one of them.